In America, there are freedoms that we just come to take for granted, because, you know, we’re so great and all. Like the inalienable right to name your kid the most idiotic name you can possibly think of (pretty much guaranteeing that he’ll be forcibly stuffed into a locker by 3rd grade, by some guys named Chet and Todd, then grow to be as cool as this guy).
Why do we do it? Primarily because we overcompensate for lacking creativity in things that matter, but also because actual celebrities see fit to name their kids things like:
- Pilot Inspektor (Jason Lee)
- Seven Sirius (Erykah Badu & Andre Benjamin)
- Denim & Diezel (Toni Braxton)
- Kal-el (Nicholas Cage)
- Peaches Honeyblossom, Fifi Trixibelle & Little Pixie (Bob Geldolf & Paula Yates)
- Banjo (Rachel Griffiths)
- Tiger Lily (Michael Taylor)
- Heavenly Hiraani Tiger Lily (Michael Hutchence &, yes, Paula Yates)
- Moxie CrimeFighter (Penn Jillette)
- Freedom & Reignbeau (Ving Rhames)
- Rocket, Racer, Rebel & Rogue (Robert Rodriguez)
- Audio Science (Shannyn Sossamon)
- Dweezil, Diva Thin Muffin, & Moon Unit (Frank Zappa)
and my personal (least) favorite….
- Jermajesty (Jermaine Jackson)
But what about those lesser countries where they don’t love Freedom (the concept, not Ving Rhames’ son) like we do in America? What about those freedom-hating bastions like Sweden?
A Swedish couple is appealing a court ruling that “Q” is not an “appropriate” name for their baby boy.
They named the little tyke apparently after the inventor in the James Bond films, not the annoyingly omnipotent recurring guest star on several Star Trek series.
The couple argue:
“There is now a child who answers to the name of Q. What does Sweden gain by forcing him to take on a new name?”
Maybe the right question is what this little boy has to gain from having such a quizzical name. After all, if
- a William can write 37 plays,
- a Susan can be on a silver dollar,
- a Vincent can paint sunflowers,
- a Jane can bring us both Pride and Prejudice,
- an Alfred can make us Psycho,
- a Marie can pioneer the study of radioactivity,
- an Albert can discover relativity theory,
- a Georgia can evoke magical New Mexico landscapes,
- a Bob can bring us Blonde on Blonde,
- an Emma can express “If I can’t dance, I don’t want to be in your revolution,”
- and a Thomas can invent the light bulb,
then what more do you need?
If they have a girl, and remain determined to assert her individuality for her, I recommend Moneypenny over, well, just about any of the names of Bond girls past.
